I love summertime learning with kids. Since I rarely make formal lesson plans for the summer months, it always ends up being a time for spontaneous fun and all the random little projects we think are cool but never got around to trying before. This summer in particular, as I’m balancing newborn baby needs with the boundless energy of my older two, we’ve been enjoying the go-with-the-flow mentality.
This week we tried an oldie-but-goodie – a baking soda and vinegar volcano. Well… I called it a volcano. In reality we just mixed the ingredients in a little sand toy, but nobody complained so I’m sticking with volcano!! ;)
As always, I was amazed at the thrill they got out of the simplest things. I’ve seen them lose interest in standard, child-geared toys after 2 minutes or less, but hand them a little (ok, a lot!!) baking soda and vinegar and they were contentedly playing for over an hour. Why do we over-think things with our kids? They don’t want hectic, flashy, crazy days. They love being left to play and explore as they please, without the abruptness of adult-oriented time slots, rushed toddler “classes,” or the dreaded “Hurry up!!!”
It’s afternoons like these, that are essentially child-led, when I enjoy mothering the most. There is no strain, no worry. I am here if they need me, but usually they don’t. They sense my presence and are secure in it, letting them enjoy the wonder and pleasure of the world around them.
Is it a coincidence that when we do activities like these, there are no sibling wars? They play together, Mikey teaching (sometimes bossing! haha), Ellie watching and mimicking.
Mothering is easy on an afternoon like this, and as I watch my babies play, I find myself wondering, yet again, why we mothers put such pressure on ourselves and our little ones. Our mother world is constantly bombarded by the “you-shoulds” of others.
“You should do a Mommy and Me class!”
“You should sign her up for dance, she’d love it!”
“You should get him this!”
“You should co-sleep” or “You should put your baby in his own bed!”
“You should go to the carnival/the indoor playground/the Latest It Place For Kids.”
“You should have them potty trained by now!” or “You potty trained them so soon?”
“You should really stop breastfeeding already, your kid is HOW old?” or “You didn’t breastfeed for exactly 12 months before stopping? Horror!”
“You should…” “You should…” “You should…”
Here’s a you should for you: you should parent in such a way that parenting brings you & your children joy.
If that means running your preschooler around to different classes – awesome. If that means a mix of structure and freedom – awesome. If that means pretty much staying home and doing stuff there – awesome. The point is, none of us will ever be the mother someone else is. And guess what – our babies don’t want us to be. My babies want me, the wholeness of me.
They don’t want a mother who is so busy trying to live up to the expectations of an outside world that she forgets the expectations and needs of the only world that really matters.
So today, we will enjoy the peace within our happy home. I will watch my babies shriek with glee as the “volcano” erupts for the gazillionth time and giggle to myself when Ellie lathers herself in baking soda “lotion.” Tomorrow, maybe we will go out again and try that Latest It Place For Kids. But not today.
Today we’re having a different kind of fun!
xoxo, Anna
